Sunday, August 8, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Enjoying the Scenery

A Teen Perspective on: Enjoying the Scenery
By: KRae

This is a short article but something I feel most of all of us need to be reminded of. The topic is enjoying the scenery you see there is a difference between noticing your surroundings and noticing the weather rather than enjoying the scenery. See I honestly believe that so many of us, most of the time without realizing it, just stop caring or enjoying the scenery around us.

Think back to when we were all kids, we would get amazed at a great cloud, big tree or bright flower. Well it seems to me that to so many of us our world has gotten foggy small and dull at first glances, and then we stop to look a second time. Well I want to simple encourage you to start enjoying the scenery again. Or if you really think you already do then notice it more or bring up what you notice to those around you so they can be amazed too.

And if you’re not sure if you notice it or not then start noticing the beauty around you again, because even if you live in the sun stricken dessert or a busy city or any and everywhere in general, there is beauty all around you.

I am going to name a few places I want you to think about this place the most beautiful way it could possibly be than sometime soon go out and try to find it just the way you pictured it.

Beauty in the green filled areas. . .
Beauty in the rainy clouds. . .
Beauty in the business of the city. . .
Beauty close by. . .
Beauty far away. . .
And even beauty in unexpected places. . .

Sunday, May 9, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Views of Life and Death

A Teen Perspective on: Views of Life and Death
By: KRae

Some people look at life one way and death a totally different way, others see it all as one complete process and some couldn’t care less.

Well I know the way I look at life and death but I was very curious wondering if my views were the same or far from others thoughts on life and death and how to view it or think of it. so I decised to go ask people what they think and then write about it. so basically this article I wrote simply because most all of us wonder at some point or another about life, about death, about how we think and handle both of those and how others do.

So first off, some people when I asked them if I could talk to them and ask them a couple questions and explained myself and all they were excited then when I told them the subject, life and death, they went completely blank, not knowing anything to say. And honestly what faith does that give us all in the thought of life and death? Does it give us any at all? I’m not sure but really who could blame them anyways, even if they did know exactly what they wanted to say the topic of life and worse death is an uncomfortable topic. But it can be even worse if you’re not sure what you would say, which many people weren’t. So I hope reading this might open your mind to others thinking and the confidence in your own thinking.

(Please note for privacy only the first and last name initials and age is given)
A B 24 when I asked about death didn’t know what to say or think about it A B said I guess we just go back where we all came from. And when I asked about life A B said just live life to the fullest and stay positive.

Even though that is great advice about life can no assurance in death give you a fear to truly live?

N T 56 when I asked about death simply answered; don’t worry about death life for life and about life N T said choose what you’re living for in life.

M L 35 when I asked about death said I’m not scared of death cause I know where I’m going, M L feels you need to be confident in where you are going, I would agree and I am confident are you? When I asked M L about life M L answered; life would be simpler if people could realize happiness comes from inside you not outside help or people.

J S 17 when I asked about death said I don’t think people should worry about death. But I ask how can people not worry about something that will happen and there is no way out of it?

About life J S answered life is about valuing people in your life and doing this is living life to the fullest.

S W 24 when I asked about death said most people just get sick of life and want to die but life is a gift and you need to treat it and value it like one without wanting death sooner. When I asked life S W answered life is strange, people have to find the general truth and people really have to find their own personal truth in life also.

I agree with S W life is a gift, after all its called the present, so why don’t we value it like one?

Lastly I want to say that life is like a flame… if you think that your flame will burn long you usually will burn dimmer because you won’t cherish it as much and burn as bright. But if know or understand that your flame won’t last long, then you tend to burn bright because you appreciate the time your given. So why not act like your flame might die out because any of us at any time might have our own flame die out into the darkness and regret the fact that we never appreciated the flame correctly.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Reasons Why

A Teen Perspective on: Reasons Why
By: KRae

Ever wonder what might be some reasons that you are or do things the way you are or do them?

Well in this article I want to maybe give a few examples (very simple or broad range, please keep in mind) for why you may be or act the way you do.
To start, this is a very touchy and sensitive subject, sex.

Why sometimes do people feel so pressured to just do it? Well, it could stem back to your past maybe you either saw people or were a person who needed to earn love or earn the right to be liked by people, whether it be parents, friends, siblings or anything. So maybe because of this “earning” that you saw or had to do you believe, even just believe in the back of your mind, that you need to earn the right to be in a relationship or be fully committed to a person. So you decide this is the way you need to do it. Well, here is something else you can do to work on that whisper in the back of your head telling you need to earn that person by having sex or doing sexual things. Decide that to “earn” that person you will work on noticing and acting on little things that person likes, such as; if that person likes snacks surprise them with their favorite ones often, or if that person is tense a lot then help them by rubbing their shoulders without them asking and so on. These little acts of love will help you earn them, and will mean just as much to them as other things, if they are a good person. But please keep in mind, if they are just with you for you need to earn (and some people can see right through you and can tell you are this need to earn type person) then they will not understand or like that you want to love them without “loving” them.

Or maybe you feel you need to have sex because you are simply needy for no reason (although this neediness is indeed usually caused by past neglect or abuse, I will briefly touch on this a little later on) well in this case your brain is simply in need and has picked this to be what it is in need of. If this sounds like your reason on why you choose to pursue sex or any broad range of sexual desires, such as porn or so on, then train yourself to be needy about something else like control of the remote or you be the one picking the movie or where to go and so on.

It may also be because it is the way of the world right now. Well first, is that ever a good reason to do something? Because everyone else is, or because the world tells you to or tells you how great it is that you need to? No its not. Why? Because the world right now influences you to do many things that in the long run will ruin your life and also influences you to think that the ones whose lives the media has ruined, is great. Please realize that this is not a good reason to do or want to do something because what does the media not show you? The hurt feelings of the next one you sleep with, the difficulty of you or your girl becoming pregnant, the way your parents look at you, the way your reputation can be so easily ruined and even diseases or HPV and cancer.

Also I would like to say that sex and wants and desires might also be from influence to strongly in the home, family influence of this kind includes abuse and or neglect or even neglect of time which therefore makes you need or simply want to be wanted. This urge can be cured by strong emotional connections. So you simply need to realize and admit why you have this urge to be fulfilled and choose to change the urge to needing to be fulfilled emotionally by family friends or still that relationship status but by making it an emotional connection rather than just a physical one.

Also I need to say, don’t let anything or anyone fool you, having sex for the wrong reasons will not work out well, ever. Either you or the other will move on because it is simply the wrong reasons, it is the secret reasons the back of your mind is telling you to do it but it is not the correct reasons or the reasons the front of your mind needs to know to decide if something is good or bad.

So why not wait for the right reasons, why not wait for there to be no reasons in your head telling you not to?

Next thing I want to talk about is more of a broad thing which mainly stems from family influence and peer pressure, self destructive problem habits, such as drugs, drinking and smoking.

One way family can influence you to either now or later on wind up doing these oh so common problems, is just acting like its ok. Let’s all admit it, bad habits your parents or family have, a lot of the time seem horrible to you and then what happens??? Do we start doing the same?? Lots of times yes we do, and it is very sad. If this is the case for why you may have these problems then I am sorry to say but, from what I have seen, these are the hardest habits to break simply because you grew up with it being ok so you therefore, even if you don’t want to admit it, make it ok in your mind as well. Now don’t get me wrong I am not saying that if yours parents have an addiction or problem habit that you are downright bound to get it, because that is far from true. What I am saying is that if you already do the same as they do and you want to stop that you will most likely have a harder time stopping because of your family experience growing up. Honestly the only way I believe truly works in this case is you standing up and making the choice that you will stop your problem habit no matter what and then find outside help! Please listen to me you need someone who will keep you stay on the ball and someone who you can go to if you find yourself falling from your on point decision of stopping.

Now, problem habits can also strongly come from peer pressure, which for many is harder to deal with than any other influence or pressure they will ever deal with. Some people (you may be this person) just can’t say no and others will just do anything to be accepted. If you are this type of person then you need to realize that true friends take you as is….. And same as the media, music, TV and movie influences of sex, why just do it because everyone else is? Because what do others not bring up? The bad choices you can make while under the influence, arrest, injury to yourself or others even others you love, addiction, jail time, or even death.

Another thing that might make you do these problem habits (including the topic of sex I brought up before) is you needing an outlet for life. Well if you think maybe this is what makes you do or act certain ways then I say you need to find a habit, sport or game that you can go to when stressed. And if you go to that instead of the other things as your outlet then at parties, at home or even simply being offered a chance to once again fall into your problem habits really won’t seem like such a need to do thing and this can strongly help you to make wiser choices in peer pressure situations because you simply won’t need to do those things as badly.

Lastly I want to talk about how your loss of family time as a child or bad family time could of led you to anger problems, by maybe witnessing or experiencing anger problems at a young age or growing up in doubt and worry. Growing in doubt and worry could have maybe been because of an unstable life or unstable feelings of life due to divorce of parents at a young age, simply parent troubles, loss of family, money troubles or health troubles with in the family or yourself as well. Not only can these things lead you to anger but it may also have led you to depression or even just a want to be alone and feeling you don’t need others or want others to keep you going or make you happy. Solving these problems are difficult, I can tell you that right now, because they stem much deeper within yourself. But one way you can start the process of solving this is finding something that doesn’t make you forget your pain and loneliness (I say this because so many people, me included, did or do try to forget pain in life rather than solve it or be ok with it) instead try and not care about it entirely, this may be again a hobby such as art, music, writing, sports, games, fixing things, helping others, walking or just great friends that are really true friends.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Getting Help

A Teen Perspective on: Getting Help
By: KRae

This article is a little different then what I usually do with these articles but please bear with me and open your mind to truly receiving what I’m trying to say.

When she looks in the mirror she hears her personal whispers about herself. She wonders and makes stories, better than her own, about what she wishes really happened and what she wishes never did. How did these scares get here? What drove me to hurt myself? How could I let this happen? She looks herself up and down telling herself, I am still beautiful. She tries to convince herself the lies one day will be set right and the scares one day will disappear.

She does know what really happened and she knows that people believe, exactly what she was told to say, and what at one point she believe also. But when things fade away the foggy clouds leave and the truth in the sky is revealed.

The truth is she was hurt. The truth is she didn’t have control. The truth is she was scared. The truth is she didn’t know what to do. The truth is… a lie.
The truth is, she needed help. She tried to gain control and help herself. But the truth is it didn’t work. She lost control and only found true control with outside help.

Now I’m telling you, she regrets not finding help sooner, so you go, find the help you need, be willing to ask for help, be willing to gain true control.

When he is lying in bed trying to fall asleep he rethinks everything. Running things through his mind, why did I do that? Why did that happen? What could have happened?
He fears and is confident about the future. The same way he fears and is confident about the present and even his past.

He worries about who sees him, and if they see him the way he wants to be seen or feels he needs to be seen. He worries about being the best, for himself, for them, for her. He thinks being the best is great. Why not strive for it? But he rethinks his actions; he rethinks how he brings others down or even brings her down. He thinks about his words and how they don’t really change him, just how others see him. He wonders will she change if he doesn’t. He worries more, rethinking the details worried about how his strive to be seen as best will eventually tear her down and push her away all because he brings her down just to lift himself up.

He knows he can’t truly be the best, even if he is. He knows his worry won’t change unless he does. He knows this urge to have to be the best is just that, an urge, it isn’t demanded or truly expected. He knows he might need help to realize he is the best at some but never all, even if he is, or isn’t at anything. He knows when he wakes up tomorrow he will most likely go back to striving to much and bringing others down to hard. He knows that won’t work forever. But he also knows unless his confidence can be boosted with outside help it never will be. Because he knows he can win or score but in the long run that won’t do anything. So why hurt himself and why hurt her?

He knows he needs help, do you? Find the help you need, be willing to ask for help, be willing to gain true confidence.

Now I would like to say, these stories can be swapped, these genders can be changed. These are generalized testimonies to help give you another perspective.

If you need to talk, if you need advice, or if you need help, talk to me, or another. Just be willing to get the help you feel you need.

Friday, January 29, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Time management

A Teen Perspective on: Time management
By: KRae

Managing your time to some can come as easy as washing your hands but I have noticed that lots of my friends seem to have a very difficult time managing their time. And that is why I felt I needed to write a little article just to try and help out.

So, if you are one of these people where procrastinating comes more naturally to you than anything else (or if you just need help managing your time) than please I do ask you to continue reading because this might do some good for you.

A Big thing that I believe will help you in managing your time is to, either in your head or on paper, categorize what takes up your time in lists or numbered rankings, by importance.

Example, work and or school are, or should be, pretty darn high on your list or ranking. And getting a new achievement on a game or updating friends on the latest gossip should be pretty low, weather you want to admit it or not. I’m assuming your getting my point.

After you have everything categorized try and set up time blocks to do what you need to do. But make sure you have your lower ranked time as well, or you will become completely over run day to day. Because if you leave out simple relaxation, you could start to do far more harm on your body, or even make it hard for you to have any of your sleep time(which if you oversleep than lower sleeps ranking, and if you under sleep then boost it up a number or two.)

If you are, or want to be, a more organized person than I highly suggest making a journal, like a calendar, of your time and how it should, and needs to be handled properly.

All else fails have one full day of nothing but your top ranked things, figure out “hey I lived without that other stuff” then manage your time again according to this new found since of,” I don’t need those low ranked things nearly as much as I thought I needed them, and I get a lot more out of a productive day than I thought I would. Or maybe you won’t sound anything like that but still will enjoy having a very productive day now and then.

Now make a plan stick to it and enjoy managed time.

Friday, January 22, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Being Content in Loneliness

A Teen Perspective on: Being Content in Loneliness

Being content can mean lots of different things but the way I am going to touch on is, being content through the loneliness. You see I have and have seen far too many people, feel far too lonely and therefore it is something I feel most all of us could use a little help on.

So to start with, realize you aren’t alone. You may feel alone physically or emotionally but even if you are fully alone someone else out in the world is also. If you can realize or try and imagine that you’re not the only lonely person than that should help you to not feel so alone. For example if you are lonely because of a break up try and think about how, even if they left you for another, they may be feeling as lonely as you do right now as well. Or, if you feel lonely because of a death than realize how many other people die in a day and how lonely the other people who knew them feel as well. You see simply feeling alone is bad but feeling you are the only one alone can be even worse. So realize you aren’t the only one alone and you should then start to feel at least a little better about it all.

But maybe you are more of a busy body and you are just feeling lonely because you’re not out and about with friends or just busy working. Well if this since of loneliness seems like you than I encourage you to find a hobby. Something you can do easily and alone at home when you aren’t busy out and about. Things like making card castles, drawing, writing, even hitting a ball against the wall or just collecting things or learning an instrument, anything you think you might enjoy and then can and will do when you feel lonely when you are at home at the end of a very packed day. If a hobby doesn’t sound the most appealing then you can make a list of movies or TV shows you have wanted to see and when you feel lonely pop one in.

But maybe you feel lonely due to lack of friends or at least lack of close friends. In which case maybe you need to simply reconnect with an old friend, make a friend a closer friend or just make new friends. Just find a friend so then the two of you or a group of friends can keep each other company on those days you feel you need people around because of loneliness.

Another little trick might be to get a pet. Something easy to take care of that will just be there. Or even a dog that will take up even more of your time and entertain you in the lonely times. Maybe that is what you need. Or maybe a cat to waist your money…kidding… cats are actually very helpful to cure loneliness.

There are also, of course, personal tricks you will learn that help you to feel content but those may take time to learn and so I would say, try a trick and learn how it helps you personally and then go from there. I do hope this all helps you, and just remember to know you’re not alone.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A Teen Perspective on: Dealing with Impossible People

A Teen Perspective on: Dealing with Impossible People
By: KRae

Dealing with the impossible people can seem, well, impossible but there is truly no way around it. Unless you live in a perfect world where you only encounter with people you like, which I don’t think you do. So since you probably agree that somewhere along the line you have to deal with the impossible people, let’s discuss easier ways to do deal with that. Hopefully by reading this and applying what I am saying to those situations then dealing those people who drive you totally bunkers won’t seem so bad and will become easier. And also by doing this the stress level in your life will greatly decrease.

So first off, how to make “them” not seem so bad and impossible. Well there is the simply way of just pretending their not so bad. But I’m sure we can all agree that doesn’t work no matter how bad we try to make it work. So I highly encourage you to try this trick, it is working for me greatly and I do hope it works and helps you as well.

Try and imagine the worst possible person there would be to get along with and deal with (and I am not meaning in your life I mean the WORST possible personality there would be in the world to get along with.) Now write it down, in detail. Write things they would do, write habits they would have, write how you would argue with them. (Please note, I am meaning argue not fist fight.) Write down all that and also all the difficult, annoying and impossible things there would be about them. Now carry it with you in your wallet, pocket, purse or heck why not even a fanny pack. Just carry it with you and after your done dealing with an impossible person in your life, take it out, read it and realize they would be even worse. So, be grateful that they aren’t as bad as can be, and leave that situation a little saner about dealing with them.

Now if after you truly try that trick that should really help you with dealing with the impossible. And if that truly doesn’t help you at all then I got a cold hard possibility to tell you…You might be an impossible person yourself… you might simply be so fixed into how horrible others are that you have become semi impossible yourself by not truly trying to fix the problem or excepting they are human. Or that you rather need those impossible people in your life to help you feel good about yourself. I know you don’t want to hear that out and try and think and realize what I am talking about by my observations of others and dealing with others and the impossible already.

However; if you try the trick and it helps you a little or hey maybe even greatly either way you might even need a little more help. So I believe another thing that might help is you to try and simply forget about that stress in your life so rather than assuming every time you come within a mile of some of your impossible people that you will lose your mind. Try and think, relating back to your list, well maybe they won’t be SO bad since they wouldn’t possible get to my WORST person ever. Simply assuming they will be better than the past could help you greatly to be a little more calm and collective with your thoughts before encountering those impossible people. But I need to also warn you, some people, like myself, if we go into a situation assuming everything will be better then it usually is or was and then it turns out to be then we just get more upset for being “let down”. So if you believe you are like that than I would suggest before going into a situation where you have to deal with the impossible people that you read your paper before even seeing them so then you can be expecting the worst and then when they are clearly not as bad as can be you may feel relieved by that and that in itself by be what you need.

I hope these simply, yet frustrating things, will help you with dealing with the impossible people.