Monday, October 12, 2009

A Teen Perspective on:Problem Step



In order to solve certain problems and troubles in your life you will have to help yourself by figuring out your true self.

Finding your “true self” can sound a lot like some Dr who says Miss who some self help crap. But believe me it is a crucial part of, preventing your own personal problems, solving already made problems, healing from the struggles of those problems.

While reading this I ask you to be open to what your reading rather than thinking you have it all already figured out or thinking certain reasoning is unorthodox. Also remember this is not a graded thing. It’s nothing like, if you still have problems or don’t heal from struggles fast enough then you fail. This is to simply to help you if you let it help you. I know in my life that is something I have and always will have to work on, thinking I’m always being graded or need to be better than its possible for me to be. And when I’m not as good as I feel I should be I am very down on myself. And that almost makes it harder to hear others ideas sometimes. I encourage you all, if you are anything like me in that since to drop that bad habit, believe me it will get you nowhere in life, just down on the inside and a fake happy face on the outside.


In order to prevent problems in your life you must find strength to know and admit what your weaknesses are. Then not put yourself in a bad situation where your weaknesses could get you into trouble.

So for example, if you know you don’t want to eat junk food but potato chips are one of your weaknesses. Then admit “oh darn, if I see those chips I’m gonna want them” and then try to prevent the situation. By not walking down the chip aisle, with five extra bucks in your pocket and a stomach that’s howling to get your attention. I think you get what I mean.

Now in order to find your personal weaknesses you will need to find a process that best works for you. Everyone is different and therefore; we each have a personal process we will need because of personal struggles and of course personal unique strengths.

I will try to give the best guide lines I can to finding a process to help you find your weaknesses and try to prevent them from turning into problems.


The first guide line I believe, for a right process is to look in your past a little. Take a look at times in your life you have already been in problems, had struggles or straight out in trouble. You can either take a look at the few most recent situations, or the biggest ones anything you choose. Now what did you do wrong in those situations? Yes you, just you, no excuses, or passing the blame, or reasoning any of those problems. Take a little time to reflect on those things, either write them down if that will help you, speak out loud about them, or just pounder them awhile whatever you feel will help you think about those things best. Please take time to do that now…No really, do that now.

I hope that looking back on past problems was able to really help you reflect on what the cause was for your problems and how you could have tried to prevent it. By doing that it should help your process of figuring out your true weaknesses. Now that hopefully you have found certain things that may be your weaknesses I encourage you strongly to talk to someone about it, write down exactly what you feel your weaknesses in life, or weaknesses to certain temptations may be. Then find someone you truly trust who will be honest with you and read it to them, a parent, sibling, pastor, teacher, mentor, great friend, you choose. Then after you have read it, ask them if they agree that those struggles are your weaknesses. Maybe even ask for some constructive criticism on your weaknesses. After you have done all that take some time before going on to the next section to just observe your life when you confront a problem, get in trouble, find trouble, or when it finds you, or when you avoid trouble all together.


Now that you have figured out some weakness you have which should help you to stay out of some trouble, please know that, that doesn’t mean you will not get into trouble or haven’t again already, I mean we are all human. So in this section we will be trying to work on solving problems. Solving problems you have already gone through, are going through, or even just so you know for when trouble find you in the future.

The start on solving problems either small (got in a fight with your mom and your grounded from your computer for a week) or big (which could be a number very hard to deal with things) is to forget about other. Not ignore them and be rude but forget that the people who really don’t care or matter will judge you. Forget that they may talk about you behind your back, spread rumors about you, not like you anymore, just forget about it and them all together for a little bit.

Now think about the people who do matter. Think about the people who were affected or hurt by your actions, your actions from ages ago, last month, this morning, any scenario that you have on your mind probably the same ones you looked at to find your weaknesses before). Depending on who was hurt, and when the problems took place will be your deciding factors on the next step to solving your problems you have before you.

This step might be a difficult one but it is very needed. You must seek forgiveness from those that have been hurt by you. You cannot solve the problems before you and get the trust and love back from those who really matter if you are not willing to ask for forgiveness and learn from your mistakes. Just say you’re sorry simple as that. Or go all out and explain how you are seeking their forgiveness to try and solve these problems that you caused and that now you see your weaknesses and faults in those situations.

After you have sought the forgiveness of others you need to do another very hard part of solving the problems, forgive yourself. This ties right into the healing process but it is still part of just solving the problems. Take some time to think and forgive yourself for the things you have done and learn to not wallow in the problems of the past. If you do not see your fault in any situation and therefore find no need to forgive yourself and you only asked for others forgiveness to make them happy then, well, talk to someone who thought you did do wrong and hear out their perspective.

Once you have forgiven yourself than you have actually already started the healing process but you must also heal from the consequences of your actions.


Healing your heart from actions and problems would be so much easier if we could just say sorry, get forgiven, forgive our self, and have everything go back to normal. Unfortunately that doesn’t always happen. There are still consequences, some even life long, that you will have to deal with. But even dealing with those things you must remember that if you have followed all these problem steps than you have already been forgiven and forgiven yourself. So even if things get hard (which chances are they will). You must just try to get through it all, keep your head up, keep your heart healing and healed and not get mad at yourself, or think everyone else it.

Everyone heals from problems and struggles differently but the basics to healing is to remember no matter if it’s a grounding or people looking at you different or even people hating you, that not everything lasts forever and that you will not be haunted by your actions life long. You, and everyone else, will be able to move on from any problem that happened. Now that does not mean it will seem easy and that others will let your actions go as fast as you would want them to, but remember your healing and learning from problems is much more important than the way others judge you or see you.
A part of healing is simply making sure you don’t get into trouble again. So remember your weaknesses and remember how you feel you can prevent them. Also, do not forget about solving the problems that are before you and constantly remember that you have now been forgiven, so do not dwell on the past problems. Learn from them, find your weaknesses through them, and move on.

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