A Teen Perspective on:
This week I was approached by someone with a “friend of a friend” type scenario, who needed advise. After giving as much advice as I could at the time, I decided I needed to address that issue with more people than just them. Because it is a problem many people I know have dealt with, or are dealing with. Self esteem. And the self esteem of others.
So to start off with I would like to say, be proud! Sounds like a simple enough thing to do but, I have encountered many teens and adults who have found a lot of trouble with just being proud of them self. Being proud of the way they are, look and feel, of their opinions, thoughts, and beliefs. And it is sad to me that people feel like they are not good enough to be proud of who they are. Some are even so down on themselves that they feel they do not deserve things, and are not good enough for things. But believe me, they (or you) are very wrong about that.
So stop your foolish thinking, stop the self doubt and don’t be ashamed of yourself or down on yourself anymore. Don’t think well I’m not like that, or well I’m not as good as, or I will never be able to, or anything like that. Just think I am, I have, I will. Think more to the good you are rather than just focusing on the negative. Because we all have negative stuff about us, but we all, in our own ways, have very special good stuff about us too. So focus on the good in you, not the bad that people tell you, or bad things around you, or a bad past. Just focus on what you are and be proud to show who you truly are.
Now weather you needed to hear that above, or even if you didn’t, and you have the highest self esteem of all (high self esteem not over confidence, please note the difference, one is good, one not so much) I highly encourage you to read this next part; others esteem.
If you have had a low self esteem, or if you have ever been humiliated or even just embarrassed, than you are probably more sensitive to those around you and how they feel. But then again, you might not be. Either way I need you all to take others esteem into your thoughts. I need you to stop the teasing, jokes, gossip and pranks anything that you feel would hurt another. Because it more than likely will, or already has.
It all goes back to what you probably heard a million times growing up. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” and also “don’t do it, if you wouldn’t like it done back to you”. Well those are exactly right. You have no idea how others feel, what they are thinking, or how their esteem is. So why take the chance or ruining them when you most certainly wouldn’t want them to ruin you.
So, put yourself in their shoes; think about how you would feel. And I’m not just meaning (just for simple example) “would I like them making fun of my clothes? Hmm well I have nice clothes so now I wouldn’t mind” I’m meaning “would I like them making fun of my clothes? Well I don’t like those clothes but maybe it wouldn’t be my choice to wear them, maybe I had no other option. So no I wouldn’t like it. So no I won’t say anything about it”.
And if maybe you don’t even see than why they would not like what you say or are doing. Than basically, why waste your time ruining theirs? It makes no since at all, so why do it?
Why not just be proud of yourself, stop the dumb non since, and just let them be proud of themselves to?